Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts
Showing posts with label ramble. Show all posts

Sunday, June 12, 2016

I've got it all (most)




I don't believe that they are any sort of prophecy at all

Let's talk about something selfish: Astrology

I sure do fucking love talking about myself.
But first, a disclaimer: I'm not an expert on the subject, and won't pretend to be. My knowledge is very limited. I'm only sharing what I've learned over the past year or so from trying to interpret my own natal chart.

I didn't know I was a Capricorn until I was 18 and a friend asked while reading her horoscope online. "Capricorn", I thought. "What a good word." I thought that for weeks and weeks before finally taking the plunge and googling.

Then, after countless hours spent reading about Capricorns -  just when I thought I'd figured it all out, I learned there's more to astrology than just my sun sign. Let me explain before I go any further:

Your sun sign is determined based on the position of the sun at the time of your birth. For me, that's Capricorn. I was born on January 6th, 1991, at 5:39 PM. Your sun sign is one of the most important aspects of your natal chart, but there are other things to take into consideration as well - such as your ascendant (the star rising on the horizon to the east) and moon sign. WHY? I'm gonna tell you.

Your sun sign is, in essence, who you are. As a Capricorn, I'm moody, cautious, and conservative. I long to one day be someone successful and self-sufficient, but I won't take unnecessary risks. I can be surprisingly determined at times - especially when someone else is depending on me. Unfortunately, I can also be a real stick in the mud. In fact, my family and husband jokingly refer to me as "Debbie Downer" from Saturday Night Live because even when something good happens, I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. These are all traits associated with the planet Saturn (which rules Capricorn). As far as I'm concerned, they describe me well, though others might disagree! Speaking of that...

Have you ever noticed how your perception of yourself often differs from the way others perceive you? This can be explained with your rising sign, which heavily influences your personality. For me, that's Cancer. We crabs tend to be shy, sensitive, and sentimental. Often pining for days gone by; yearning to reconnect with people and places from our pasts. If you've ever spoken with me before, you might describe me as someone who is overly critical of herself (and others), emotional, and delicate. That's most Cancers in a nutshell! We're clingy with everything, good or bad. It's hard not to be with claws.

There's a side of me others aren't so familiar with, though - my moon sign. It's responsible for my innermost thoughts and desires. I usually refuse to admit it (even to myself), but I sometimes place great importance on having nice things. I want the best of everything, and I secretly long to be pampered. I want to be popular with others - I want to win them over with my charm and beauty. But alas; I'm poor, friendless, and far from attractive. Each day is an internal struggle for me. I can blame Libra for that. Perhaps you've heard of Venus, the goddess of beauty? Well, Libra is under the influence of the planet Venus, which explains my love for the finer things in life!

So now you've got it all figured out, right? Wrong. There's more to it, yet. There are more clues about your life hidden in the stars. The way the planets were aligned at your time of birth paints a picture of who you are based on which signs they were under the influence of!

A good example: Jim and I have been together for over 8 years in one form or another. By form, I mean he's been everything from a brother to a father to a lover to me. I'm sure the rest of the world scratched their heads and tried to make sense of our unusual relationship, but to me, it was natural. This could be attributed to the fact that Venus was in Aquarius when I was born. Aquarians are known for being spontaneous and unconventional, and in love, that's very much how I am! Too bad I gave everyone around us the impression I engaged in incest with my brother. WHOOPS.

Don't ask me how much I believe in this stuff - I'm not sure myself. Researching astrology is a fun way to pass the time, and as an added bonus I get to think about myself even more than usual. I've learned there are positive aspects about my natal chart, and negative ones as well. I'm fortunate enough to have a grand trine in my chart (though they're different elements!), and unfortunate enough to have several planets in my 6th house (indicating lots of terrible health problems - which seem to be coming true). Weird!

Welp, that's enough rambling about stars for one morning. I'm sorry if you actually read this, I will probably delete it later.


Tuesday, January 14, 2014

that's gonna sting for a while..



i like to imagine my animal crossing character is a bit of a loner, since i don't talk to other villages much in the the game (except marshal, who is my animal crossing boyfriend ahahha). she may be the mayor, but she's rarely seen in her office, always shirking her responsibilities. you'll catch her river fishing or hunting bugs in the evenings, if she isn't at home.

i also like to think she has tremendously bad luck - hence the bandages. she's always getting scrapes and bruises somehow (probably from falling down a lot), and she seems to be a bee magnet. one eye is almost always swollen shut due to stings.

...i've been playing this game a lot lately, if you couldn't guess. that's a little unusual for me, but i've been in desperate need of some sort of distraction these past couple weeks, and animal crossing is great for that. there are some aspects of the game i really enjoy (like fishing, bug catching, decorating my house and planting flowers), but i don't care much about the other villagers or being 'mayor'. one of my favourite parts of the game (and the thing that initially drew me to it to begin with) is the music. i wont lie, i prefer wild world's music to new leaf, but both games have great hourly tracks. 2 am is one of my favourites. so is 10 pm! i frequently listen to the music even if i'm not actually playing the game. depending on my mood, i find it can sometimes cheer me up or calm me down. not many things can these days. besides that, i've never heard music that made me feel so... nostalgic before. animal crossing: wild world was the first game in the series i ever played, and i didnt get it til december 2010! the first time i heard the music in that game, it felt like i recognised it somehow. i used to listen to new leaf's music before it was even released last year! 10 pm reminds me of this time of year. it was warm outside and i remember having my windows open a lot and being so happy because i could smell the lake. that was before my dad was sick, before my living situation became so unbearable, before a lot of bad stuff.. uagh, i wont get into that here though.

that picture up there was actually vent art, believe it or not, haha. i'm going through some difficult stuff right now and it stings, but i'll survive.






Saturday, December 14, 2013

holidays are stressful


it's been many months since i last updated my blog. mostly because my computer doesn't like blogger, but also partly because my life has become so hectic. i've had little time to devote to art, and it's kinda funny! sometimes i miss drawing (like right now), but overall, not as much as i probably should.

the past several weeks have been unbelievably terrible, but i wont bore you with the details of that here! jotleaf is where i go to whine about my life these days. i will say, though, that everything i've been going through lately has left me so exhausted and depressed i haven't felt like touching my tablet. right now i'm using a broken laptop hooked up to a tv for all my internet-ing. it's not a very good setup! the good news is i'll be getting a brand new laptop on monday thanks to jim, so maybe i'll start being more active online soon. i say 'maybe' because at the end of the day i'm so tired i usually fall asleep around 8 PM and don't wake up til morning!

i just got done taking some pumpkin bread out of the oven, so the whole house smells good right now. it's amazing how much of a positive impact little things like that can have on your mood! our christmas tree is up and decorated and lights and garland are strung up all over the house. that must be my favourite part of this holiday. i don't think there will ever come a time where the decorations don't excite me! i also love lighting candles at night and seeing their reflections flickering in the windows. gifts are great, but the older i get, the less i care about them. it sounds cliche, i know, but the most important part of the holidays is being with the ones you love and letting them know how much they mean to you.

this update probably didn't need to happen, but it did anyway! after the holidays i'll probably start using this blog again for talking about my characters. maybe occasionally for sharing things in my life too! i'm tired of lurking online and would like to be more active soon. we'll see what happens!


Monday, July 29, 2013

bluh


this is gonna be a loooong post, so i apologise in advance! i'm putting the first half under a cut because it's just stuff about my dad. feel free to ignore!


i may be scarce for a while after this week, so i thought i'd pop in with an update and post some doodles just in case anyone notices i'm gone and worries i died!

dad is going back to the hospital tomorrow and they're gonna run lots of tests on him to determine whether or not he's in good enough health for a liver transplant...




in other news, i cracked and made a new tumblr. i think we all knew i would at some point! no telling how long it'll exist, but it's there for now. i'm not happy with myself for going back on what i said, but that's just sort of how i am. i'm spontaneous and indecisive. i make decisions on a whim (though i usually regret them). wow look, that rhymed :D on the bright side, tumblr has encouraged me to be more productive with my art. fiddling with my theme also gives me something to do when i'm bored and can't leave the room because i'm babysitting. on the not-so-bright side, i think most people are too sick of my vanishing acts to bother paying attention to me anymore, haha. anyway, here are a few things from tumblr!:



this was from an ask i got. jim sent me some half moon cookies this weekend because i've never tried them before. they were really good! and they originated near where he lives in new york, so that's pretty neat! they're sort of like tiny cakes. one half is frosted with vanilla, the other with chocolate. people down here in alabama don't eat them or even know what they are! they don't have hot banana pudding up in new york, though, and everyone here loves it, so i guess that makes us even.


sometimes when i don't feel like spending a lot of time or effort on a picture, i make these crayon wigglies.  emaline is on the left, and jeanie on the right. when i have more time and am less stressed out, i need to talk more about em, cos nobody even really knows she exists yet! she is a capricorn and so am i.




i also did jo, saria, and kitsune. i'm not as happy with how this batch turned out, but that's okay. they're fun to make anyway! i forgot i made a bunch of 'em last year too. gosh!

okay, last things i'll share:




i've known link2262 since at least 2009. he was one of my earliest followers! he has lots of neat characters, but megan is my favourite and i really enjoy drawing her! i apparently tried to draw his character jenna way back in '09. that makes me cringe, haha. next time i make some gift art for him, i'll have to try drawing jenna again!



daz helped jim and i a lot after we learned my dad had cancer. he spread the word about jim's iron artist commissions and even hosted a donation stream on our behalf. i still can't believe how supportive everyone has been! when i think about it, it makes me cry. this crummy little doodle doesn't come close to repaying darren for what he's done to help us, but it's what i can do for now. this is his character, screwball!

okay, that's it for now. i can't promise i'll be updating again any time soon. i'll be devastated if we get bad news about my dad, and i doubt i'll feel like drawing for quite a while. all i can do right now is hope for the best!

thank you for reading all that, if you did! and please don't worry about commenting, this was just an update!